The Very Finest In Crap
The comment cycle on my last four blogs ...
5 comments ... 1 comment ... 8 comments ... 1 comment
This makes, obviously, very little sense to me. This blog needs consistency because there is currently no sports or policitcs worth discussing. But since I only got one comment last time, I am again left looking to my own dangerously twisted mind for subject matter, which is never a good thing.
Thankyou to the Venerable Schwegs for his long, thoughtful, and carefully researched comment. Unfortunately, the editors/undergraduate-interns down at the Buffalo News changed the title of my letter to make it sound as if I wanted to make a point. Well, in a way I was trying to - the point being that chicken-wing hording Buffalonians write stupid things and should be mocked. But the letter was not meant as a "pro-Bledsoe" peice, rather as an "anti-Buffalonian sports-fan's attempt at writing" submission. I succeeded in this task, I think. However the editors deemed it necessary to utilize my letter as a counter-point to the flood of anti-Bledsoe mail, and therefore re-dubbed it "Give Drew Bledsoe a Break." A minor change, you might argue - but unfortunately, this seemingly tiny alteration recasts the entire tone of my letter, making it read as a harsh rebuke of anti-Bledsonians, and a loudly trumpeted vote of confidence in him from myself. Whatever. I simply wanted to make fun of two individuals who thought the thesaurus could make a brilliant writer out of them and who thought that describing a "beautiful montana sunset" was somehow appropriate for the Sports Letters page.
In response to the many who have argued about my "future hall-of-famer" comment - all I would say is you're dreaming if you think he'll never make it in. It is unthinkable that someone could put up the statistics of a Drew Bledsoe (he's what? 9th on the all-time yardage list) and not be entered into it. In direct response to Schwegler's Art Monk argument - Art will make it in eventually, and it's ridiculous that he isn't already. The NFL can talk to me all it wants about "intelligent NFL boards" and "hire criteria" and "integrity of the Hall" ... the NFL has bought into this snobbish thunderstorm of bullshit in the past decade, saying astronomically stupid things like "He wasn't a great QB cause he never won a Super Bowl," or "He was a great receiver, but he didn't revolutionize the position." That's exactly what it is - snobbish bullshit. The idea ... the very fucking thought that Michael Vick could already be considered a future-hall-of famer ... the very fucking fact that I can read an article in the paper comparing him to Bobby Hull and Magic Johnson ... is completely, entirely, and in every way beyond my faculty for comprehension. Here's' your precious fucking Michael Vick, NFL fans: 2,313 total yards, 14 TD's, 12 INTs. BOY FUCKING HOWDY!!! He's got to be the greatest fucking player in professional sports!!! Why? Because he can run really fast. Oh wait, that's not what a QB's supposed to do? Okay, well we'll just write an article in the Buffalo News about how he's revolutionizing the position.
And please - don't give me this He Wins Games bullshit. Its such a tired, groundless old argument. Yes, Atlanta is a better team with him in then with him out. But you win and lose as a team. You don't win or lose because Michael Vick scrambled for sixty-seven yards against the Redskins in Week X.
While we're on Michael Vick - how fucking long do you think it would have taken Bill Bellicek to figure the fucker out if Atlanta had made it? My bet is three seconds.
In conclusion - I'll say it for the thousandth time - I AM NOT DEFENDING DREW BLEDSOE!!! I am merely stating that this brazen hostility Buffalo has toward him is unwarranted. He's playing mediocre football. Not better, not worse. But to blame your problems as a team (and as a city) on Drew is making a scapegoat out of him. If a 33 year old QB can throw 3,000 yds and 20 TD's for me in an NFL season, I say that he deserves not to be treated like the second coming of Todd Collins.
This response was directed at BUFFALO IN GENERAL. And thankyou very much to the Venerable Schwegler for the long, thoughtful response. You can all learn a thing or two from him. Keep them coming.
END SPORTS
A few blogs ago should have made my disdain for graduate students quite clear. Well, I can honestly say after a recent class that this disdain has nearly doubled. I'm speaking of one student in particular - a badly balding, saggy-faced motherfucker who gave a presentation on anti-Semitism in Hemingway's "The Sun Also Rises." To be clear, it is not the subject-matter that angered me. I've come to expect such pompous and ridiculous analytical efforts from grad students eager to show that they are smarter than the greatest of writers. God bless his bullshit. What I'm speaking about was his slow, enunciated, hand-gestured, "aaah" and "uum" filled manner of speaking, complete with all the cliche's and pretentious flowerings of "academic speech." They all do it, but this wicked prick took the whole gig to a new level. It may sound like a silly thing to be angered over, but I honestly felt this kid could use a swift kick in the ass.
And then the worst part ... the teacher was speaking to one of his points and made something of a joke. Not really a joke, but one of those intellectual utterences meant to illicit a laugh of understanding from fellow intellectuals. So, while people chuckled, grinned, squinted gleefully, and otherwise snorted horribly ... this badly balding, saggy-faced motherfucker who gave the presentation laughs very loudly and says - "HAHAHA ... as it were ... HAHAHA!" ------ What! Are you fucking serious!? Am I going totally insane, or did you just pause laughing to say AS IT WERE!!??
In a recent class a girl mentioned how she enjoyed reading Hunter S. Thompson. The teacher replied, "You know Hunter Thompson was here about ten years ago." The class perked up. Really? The creator of Gonzo Journalism and the writer of such brilliant novels as "Fear and Loathing" and "The Rum Diary." He was at UB!? Do go on, teacher! "It was a disaster. He showed up completely drunk and walked out on stage with a glass of Gin in his hand. And the Student Union paid him $10,000 for this." This is just fucking great shit. The world needs more people like Hunter S. Thompson.
Unsolicited Movie Review:
Andrew Lloyd Weber's The Phantom of the Opera: A brilliant fucking movie. Developed almost identically from the musical performance, which is a damn good thing. My fear was that they would decide to "update" "contemporize" or use any number of so-called "artistic interpretations" that would have changed the plot, the characters, and/or the music. Thankfully, they exercized better discretion than that. And ultimately, what makes this such a powerful show is - as you already know - the music. The music is genius. Gives you chills to hear it. Brilliant movements varying between sadness, joy, rage, hate, etc. It is not simply the apparently heartwarming love songs and obnoxious group-sang theatricals of other musicals. This musical is MADE by the music. It is not merely good, it is essential to the performance.
Unfortunately, the Buffalo News decided it would continue it's long-standing tradition of the very shittiest in film reviews. This time, some horrible kunt named "Victoria" (undoubtedly an intern put to work by the miserable Jeff Simon) spreads two blatant lies. I say lies here because it is not simply a difference of opinion - it is an outright lie. The first is that this film does not translate well between stage and screen. This is bullshit. The stage, of course, will always be the best way to view the Phantom. However, it translated surprisingly well. The second lie was that the Phantom was "a weak attempt at a Moulin-Rougish type spectacle." This is beyond me. How can you take the Phantom - a nationally known and celebrated musical known by every single person without fail - and compare it to Moulin-Rouge, a production known only by those with an interest in musical theatre? How can one say the widely and critically acclaimed "Phantom of the Opera" is a WEAK ATTEMPT AT A LESSER KNOWN SHOW'S SPECTACLE? Especially when the sets were lifted almost identically from Phantom's stage performance. There was no embellishment. There was nothing new! It was basically the stage performance put on the silver screen. And it was done terrifically. Don't listen to Victoria's slanderous lies. She is obviously a whore. See this movie. It is more than worth your time.
CONTROVERSIAL ARGUMENT OF THE WEEK:
Fighting should not be illegal. Sometimes people need to be fucked up, and sometimes we ourselves need a good beating. A society that embraces heavy drinking and fighting is a society that does not need a military and does not need to go to war. (See Ireland). I'm convinced that wars happen because we all just get so damn aggrevated with all the bullshit we have to put up with every day that it's only a matter of time before we snap. And just like that - thousands die. Global destruction. So I say - drink more, laugh more, and fight more. And if the police try to arrest you, just say "I'm calling Cellino and Barnes and putting their power to work for me!"
Leave comments.
A Presto
Mike
5 comments ... 1 comment ... 8 comments ... 1 comment
This makes, obviously, very little sense to me. This blog needs consistency because there is currently no sports or policitcs worth discussing. But since I only got one comment last time, I am again left looking to my own dangerously twisted mind for subject matter, which is never a good thing.
Thankyou to the Venerable Schwegs for his long, thoughtful, and carefully researched comment. Unfortunately, the editors/undergraduate-interns down at the Buffalo News changed the title of my letter to make it sound as if I wanted to make a point. Well, in a way I was trying to - the point being that chicken-wing hording Buffalonians write stupid things and should be mocked. But the letter was not meant as a "pro-Bledsoe" peice, rather as an "anti-Buffalonian sports-fan's attempt at writing" submission. I succeeded in this task, I think. However the editors deemed it necessary to utilize my letter as a counter-point to the flood of anti-Bledsoe mail, and therefore re-dubbed it "Give Drew Bledsoe a Break." A minor change, you might argue - but unfortunately, this seemingly tiny alteration recasts the entire tone of my letter, making it read as a harsh rebuke of anti-Bledsonians, and a loudly trumpeted vote of confidence in him from myself. Whatever. I simply wanted to make fun of two individuals who thought the thesaurus could make a brilliant writer out of them and who thought that describing a "beautiful montana sunset" was somehow appropriate for the Sports Letters page.
In response to the many who have argued about my "future hall-of-famer" comment - all I would say is you're dreaming if you think he'll never make it in. It is unthinkable that someone could put up the statistics of a Drew Bledsoe (he's what? 9th on the all-time yardage list) and not be entered into it. In direct response to Schwegler's Art Monk argument - Art will make it in eventually, and it's ridiculous that he isn't already. The NFL can talk to me all it wants about "intelligent NFL boards" and "hire criteria" and "integrity of the Hall" ... the NFL has bought into this snobbish thunderstorm of bullshit in the past decade, saying astronomically stupid things like "He wasn't a great QB cause he never won a Super Bowl," or "He was a great receiver, but he didn't revolutionize the position." That's exactly what it is - snobbish bullshit. The idea ... the very fucking thought that Michael Vick could already be considered a future-hall-of famer ... the very fucking fact that I can read an article in the paper comparing him to Bobby Hull and Magic Johnson ... is completely, entirely, and in every way beyond my faculty for comprehension. Here's' your precious fucking Michael Vick, NFL fans: 2,313 total yards, 14 TD's, 12 INTs. BOY FUCKING HOWDY!!! He's got to be the greatest fucking player in professional sports!!! Why? Because he can run really fast. Oh wait, that's not what a QB's supposed to do? Okay, well we'll just write an article in the Buffalo News about how he's revolutionizing the position.
And please - don't give me this He Wins Games bullshit. Its such a tired, groundless old argument. Yes, Atlanta is a better team with him in then with him out. But you win and lose as a team. You don't win or lose because Michael Vick scrambled for sixty-seven yards against the Redskins in Week X.
While we're on Michael Vick - how fucking long do you think it would have taken Bill Bellicek to figure the fucker out if Atlanta had made it? My bet is three seconds.
In conclusion - I'll say it for the thousandth time - I AM NOT DEFENDING DREW BLEDSOE!!! I am merely stating that this brazen hostility Buffalo has toward him is unwarranted. He's playing mediocre football. Not better, not worse. But to blame your problems as a team (and as a city) on Drew is making a scapegoat out of him. If a 33 year old QB can throw 3,000 yds and 20 TD's for me in an NFL season, I say that he deserves not to be treated like the second coming of Todd Collins.
This response was directed at BUFFALO IN GENERAL. And thankyou very much to the Venerable Schwegler for the long, thoughtful response. You can all learn a thing or two from him. Keep them coming.
END SPORTS
A few blogs ago should have made my disdain for graduate students quite clear. Well, I can honestly say after a recent class that this disdain has nearly doubled. I'm speaking of one student in particular - a badly balding, saggy-faced motherfucker who gave a presentation on anti-Semitism in Hemingway's "The Sun Also Rises." To be clear, it is not the subject-matter that angered me. I've come to expect such pompous and ridiculous analytical efforts from grad students eager to show that they are smarter than the greatest of writers. God bless his bullshit. What I'm speaking about was his slow, enunciated, hand-gestured, "aaah" and "uum" filled manner of speaking, complete with all the cliche's and pretentious flowerings of "academic speech." They all do it, but this wicked prick took the whole gig to a new level. It may sound like a silly thing to be angered over, but I honestly felt this kid could use a swift kick in the ass.
And then the worst part ... the teacher was speaking to one of his points and made something of a joke. Not really a joke, but one of those intellectual utterences meant to illicit a laugh of understanding from fellow intellectuals. So, while people chuckled, grinned, squinted gleefully, and otherwise snorted horribly ... this badly balding, saggy-faced motherfucker who gave the presentation laughs very loudly and says - "HAHAHA ... as it were ... HAHAHA!" ------ What! Are you fucking serious!? Am I going totally insane, or did you just pause laughing to say AS IT WERE!!??
In a recent class a girl mentioned how she enjoyed reading Hunter S. Thompson. The teacher replied, "You know Hunter Thompson was here about ten years ago." The class perked up. Really? The creator of Gonzo Journalism and the writer of such brilliant novels as "Fear and Loathing" and "The Rum Diary." He was at UB!? Do go on, teacher! "It was a disaster. He showed up completely drunk and walked out on stage with a glass of Gin in his hand. And the Student Union paid him $10,000 for this." This is just fucking great shit. The world needs more people like Hunter S. Thompson.
Unsolicited Movie Review:
Andrew Lloyd Weber's The Phantom of the Opera: A brilliant fucking movie. Developed almost identically from the musical performance, which is a damn good thing. My fear was that they would decide to "update" "contemporize" or use any number of so-called "artistic interpretations" that would have changed the plot, the characters, and/or the music. Thankfully, they exercized better discretion than that. And ultimately, what makes this such a powerful show is - as you already know - the music. The music is genius. Gives you chills to hear it. Brilliant movements varying between sadness, joy, rage, hate, etc. It is not simply the apparently heartwarming love songs and obnoxious group-sang theatricals of other musicals. This musical is MADE by the music. It is not merely good, it is essential to the performance.
Unfortunately, the Buffalo News decided it would continue it's long-standing tradition of the very shittiest in film reviews. This time, some horrible kunt named "Victoria" (undoubtedly an intern put to work by the miserable Jeff Simon) spreads two blatant lies. I say lies here because it is not simply a difference of opinion - it is an outright lie. The first is that this film does not translate well between stage and screen. This is bullshit. The stage, of course, will always be the best way to view the Phantom. However, it translated surprisingly well. The second lie was that the Phantom was "a weak attempt at a Moulin-Rougish type spectacle." This is beyond me. How can you take the Phantom - a nationally known and celebrated musical known by every single person without fail - and compare it to Moulin-Rouge, a production known only by those with an interest in musical theatre? How can one say the widely and critically acclaimed "Phantom of the Opera" is a WEAK ATTEMPT AT A LESSER KNOWN SHOW'S SPECTACLE? Especially when the sets were lifted almost identically from Phantom's stage performance. There was no embellishment. There was nothing new! It was basically the stage performance put on the silver screen. And it was done terrifically. Don't listen to Victoria's slanderous lies. She is obviously a whore. See this movie. It is more than worth your time.
CONTROVERSIAL ARGUMENT OF THE WEEK:
Fighting should not be illegal. Sometimes people need to be fucked up, and sometimes we ourselves need a good beating. A society that embraces heavy drinking and fighting is a society that does not need a military and does not need to go to war. (See Ireland). I'm convinced that wars happen because we all just get so damn aggrevated with all the bullshit we have to put up with every day that it's only a matter of time before we snap. And just like that - thousands die. Global destruction. So I say - drink more, laugh more, and fight more. And if the police try to arrest you, just say "I'm calling Cellino and Barnes and putting their power to work for me!"
Leave comments.
A Presto
Mike
posted by Il Pazzo @ 2:58 PM
1 Comments:
At 5:33 PM,
Anonymous said…
vick is revolutionizing his position and he does indeed win games by himself. Look at atlanta's record last year while he was hurt compared to what they are with him. he doesn't have great stats at all, but he has the ability to escape the majority of defenses in the league which directly contributes to the falcons winning. while many times his decisions to run may not be the smartest, it still does the job. he lacks consistency and accuracy but this problem is exacerbated by the fact that atlanta's coaches use the west coast offense, which is not suited for michael vick, he was clearly a better passer his first year starting. mike vick isnt the best quarterback in the game but he is the best athlete, and more exciting to watch than any football player ive ever seen.
p.s. drew bledsoe may make the hall of fame, but not before dreamboat, thomas brady
oh, and by the way, let's start warning the masses about the impending "red scare," it's about goddamn time communism takes another run at the world
Post a Comment
<< Home