Something Foul in the State of New York
Well, there you have it. Another NFL season comes to an end for the Buffalo Bills, and once again there will be no playoff action for hungry fans. You might be asking yourself why that is? I'm not. The Pittsburgh game was a display for all who cared to notice all the many things that remains wrong with out shameful football team. If you are too stupid to see what these things are ... or if you're kidding yourself into making excuses and trying to pin the blame on this or that ... or if you're mind is completely fried from years of excessive alcohol abuse and drug usage ... then allow me to spell this out for you.
Problem Number One - Ryan Lindell. How many seasons will the Bills insist on limping along with a field goal kicker who might be lucky to make it past the first round of cuts on a good high school team. "Oh, but he's consistent!" say the buffoons. Yes ... indeed, he is. However, it is not so difficult to be consisent when one never has to kick longer than, say, 35 yards at most. And boy did he do it to us today. Boy did he stick his rotten fucking leg up the ass of every Bills fan in the world when he missed a 28 (repeat - A 28 FUCKING YARD FIELD GOAL) at the end of the third quarter. Not that big of a deal, some idiots will say. Come on - its a six point swing (once you figure in the following Pitts fieldgoal. Do the math, geniuses. We win the game. Even if that were not the case, however, anyone who has played a sport in their life, particularly football, can tell you how fragile momentum is. When your offense has struggled all game, but has finally put together a good drive and moved down the field - and when your offense should have gotten a touchdown but for a lousy call on Josh Reed - and when all you need to do is kick a short field goal, which they pay you huge bucks for - and you MISS IT! BADLY! Well, that sucks the life out of a team. Not to mention kickoffs that the opposing team catches at their 30 yard line. Come on. The 30? How is this guy even in the league!!?? Hopefully that will soon change.
Problem number Two - Our defense. Let me make this explicitly clear!! DON'T FUCKING KID YOURSELF ABOUT OUR DEFENSE!! They are not a top five defense. They are stifling, exciting, and very difficult to play against, but never - NEVER - ask them to come through big when the game is on the line. Hey, remember this? The Jacksonville game? We'd be in the fucking playoffs anyway. But no. Clemens can't knock the deep ball down on fourth down. Why? Because his locker says it all. "Playmaker." Nice fucking play, Nate. Or how about the TD on the last play of the game. How could you let them drive down the field and score like that on you? Are you top five? Maybe not, huh? But guess what. Nobody in Buffalo is going to talk about this. Everyone will conveniently forget that the defense let a SECOND STRING OFFENSE led by a THIRD STRING QB take off almost ten minutes from the clock in the 4rth quarter, march down the field, pick up the field goal, and give our struggling offense the ball back with two minutes left in the game. Top five? Hmm. Have to think about that. And of course, worst of all - a third string running back somehow rips off a 60 yard run against us when we needed them to come up big the most. Top five? Well ... okay, no fucking way.
Problem number Three - Drew Bledsoe. Arm like a mother fucker, one of the best statistical QBs in NFL history, and still a threat in this league with some help. But WHY DO YOU HOLD ON TO THE BALL SO LONG, DREW!!! Haven't you learned after ten-plus seasons in the league that you got to get rid of the fucking ball?
Problem number Four - Eric Moulds. Overrated, plain and simple. Too many dropped passes, not just against Pittsburg, but all season. He makes some great catches, no question. But we pay him too much money to drop several passes a game.
Problem number Five - Coaching. We've had some good coaching this year, sure. But you don't come out and play conservative offense against the best team in the league when you're trying to make the playoffs. We sucked the life out of ourselves right off the bat, and could never recover from it. How many strikes down the field did you see all game? Hmm. One? To Lee Evans when the game was already lost with less than two minutes left? You kidding me? We're fighting for the playoffs here and we're not throwing the ball downfield ... at all? Against a second string defense?
Problem number Six - Combination lack of discipline, and poor officiating. Too many penalties, simply put. A lot of that was us, a lot of that was some lopsided reffereeing. I mean give me a break - we had over a hundred yards in penalties called agianst us - a HUNDRED YARDS! At some point somebody's gotta start asking what the reff's problem is. Especially the bullshit call against Josh Reed for offensive pass interference. He touches a guy twenty yards away from the play and a flag gets thrown six seconds later. Fucking weird.
Problem number Seven - the fans. Yah. Believe that. We're going to do what we always do. We'll overlook all the glaring deficiencies this team is afflicted with and just try to pin the whole thing on our quarterback. We've done it historically. Everybody forgets what a beating Kelly took here, but they actually used to call for Frank Reich ... when we were winning games!! They hated Todd Collins (rightfully so). They hated Flutie. They hated Johnson. They hate Drew Bledsoe. Its not an inconsistent defense, or a lack of discipline, or a bad game plan, or a superior team that beats us. No, its always the fucking quarterback. Drew played like shit. Its a team fucking game. You'll never have a great team in this city until you see the big picture and address ALL the problems. Its not enough to cry endlessly about one of them.
That said, I suggest we all say fuck the Bills until next season. Its their own fault they aren't in the playoffs. "But Mike ... they went on a six game winning streak!" Goody fucking gum drops. Look at the combined record of those opponents. Not very good. The best team we beat that whole time was the Jets, and whoooopy!!! They are so friggen good, aren't they? (The answer is no - they are not). They get taken to overtime by a sub-500 NFC team. Not very impressive.
So ... FUCK THE BILLS
How was everyone's New Years? Congratulations, by the way, on everyone's creative genius in bullrushing Chippewa. Yes, downtown was certainly the "cool" thing to do, as usual. I'm disappointed I couldn't make it there myself. How hellish for me - not to get the chance to pay seven dollar covers to stand in shoulder-to-shoulder dance clubs and listen to nightmarish music being played loud enough to piss off a dead body and spend all my hard earned money on expensive, poorly mixed drinks that I have to wait ten minutes to get. Oh, and there's the sweat, and bad smells, and drunk assholes, and the whores, and the hardasses, and the tough-guy bouncers, and the flashing lights, and long lines, and so on. And of course the best part of all - the oppurtunity to "be seen." I envy all of you.
But seriously ... Happy New Years!!
I would like Gary Bettman to die a painful, agonizing death.
I hate the commercial where the black guy puts on all those clothes so he doesn't have to carry a bag on the plane. What a stupid fucking commercial.
I don't feel good, I'm tired, I'm angry and malovelent ... so this blog is over.
A Presto
Mike
Problem Number One - Ryan Lindell. How many seasons will the Bills insist on limping along with a field goal kicker who might be lucky to make it past the first round of cuts on a good high school team. "Oh, but he's consistent!" say the buffoons. Yes ... indeed, he is. However, it is not so difficult to be consisent when one never has to kick longer than, say, 35 yards at most. And boy did he do it to us today. Boy did he stick his rotten fucking leg up the ass of every Bills fan in the world when he missed a 28 (repeat - A 28 FUCKING YARD FIELD GOAL) at the end of the third quarter. Not that big of a deal, some idiots will say. Come on - its a six point swing (once you figure in the following Pitts fieldgoal. Do the math, geniuses. We win the game. Even if that were not the case, however, anyone who has played a sport in their life, particularly football, can tell you how fragile momentum is. When your offense has struggled all game, but has finally put together a good drive and moved down the field - and when your offense should have gotten a touchdown but for a lousy call on Josh Reed - and when all you need to do is kick a short field goal, which they pay you huge bucks for - and you MISS IT! BADLY! Well, that sucks the life out of a team. Not to mention kickoffs that the opposing team catches at their 30 yard line. Come on. The 30? How is this guy even in the league!!?? Hopefully that will soon change.
Problem number Two - Our defense. Let me make this explicitly clear!! DON'T FUCKING KID YOURSELF ABOUT OUR DEFENSE!! They are not a top five defense. They are stifling, exciting, and very difficult to play against, but never - NEVER - ask them to come through big when the game is on the line. Hey, remember this? The Jacksonville game? We'd be in the fucking playoffs anyway. But no. Clemens can't knock the deep ball down on fourth down. Why? Because his locker says it all. "Playmaker." Nice fucking play, Nate. Or how about the TD on the last play of the game. How could you let them drive down the field and score like that on you? Are you top five? Maybe not, huh? But guess what. Nobody in Buffalo is going to talk about this. Everyone will conveniently forget that the defense let a SECOND STRING OFFENSE led by a THIRD STRING QB take off almost ten minutes from the clock in the 4rth quarter, march down the field, pick up the field goal, and give our struggling offense the ball back with two minutes left in the game. Top five? Hmm. Have to think about that. And of course, worst of all - a third string running back somehow rips off a 60 yard run against us when we needed them to come up big the most. Top five? Well ... okay, no fucking way.
Problem number Three - Drew Bledsoe. Arm like a mother fucker, one of the best statistical QBs in NFL history, and still a threat in this league with some help. But WHY DO YOU HOLD ON TO THE BALL SO LONG, DREW!!! Haven't you learned after ten-plus seasons in the league that you got to get rid of the fucking ball?
Problem number Four - Eric Moulds. Overrated, plain and simple. Too many dropped passes, not just against Pittsburg, but all season. He makes some great catches, no question. But we pay him too much money to drop several passes a game.
Problem number Five - Coaching. We've had some good coaching this year, sure. But you don't come out and play conservative offense against the best team in the league when you're trying to make the playoffs. We sucked the life out of ourselves right off the bat, and could never recover from it. How many strikes down the field did you see all game? Hmm. One? To Lee Evans when the game was already lost with less than two minutes left? You kidding me? We're fighting for the playoffs here and we're not throwing the ball downfield ... at all? Against a second string defense?
Problem number Six - Combination lack of discipline, and poor officiating. Too many penalties, simply put. A lot of that was us, a lot of that was some lopsided reffereeing. I mean give me a break - we had over a hundred yards in penalties called agianst us - a HUNDRED YARDS! At some point somebody's gotta start asking what the reff's problem is. Especially the bullshit call against Josh Reed for offensive pass interference. He touches a guy twenty yards away from the play and a flag gets thrown six seconds later. Fucking weird.
Problem number Seven - the fans. Yah. Believe that. We're going to do what we always do. We'll overlook all the glaring deficiencies this team is afflicted with and just try to pin the whole thing on our quarterback. We've done it historically. Everybody forgets what a beating Kelly took here, but they actually used to call for Frank Reich ... when we were winning games!! They hated Todd Collins (rightfully so). They hated Flutie. They hated Johnson. They hate Drew Bledsoe. Its not an inconsistent defense, or a lack of discipline, or a bad game plan, or a superior team that beats us. No, its always the fucking quarterback. Drew played like shit. Its a team fucking game. You'll never have a great team in this city until you see the big picture and address ALL the problems. Its not enough to cry endlessly about one of them.
That said, I suggest we all say fuck the Bills until next season. Its their own fault they aren't in the playoffs. "But Mike ... they went on a six game winning streak!" Goody fucking gum drops. Look at the combined record of those opponents. Not very good. The best team we beat that whole time was the Jets, and whoooopy!!! They are so friggen good, aren't they? (The answer is no - they are not). They get taken to overtime by a sub-500 NFC team. Not very impressive.
So ... FUCK THE BILLS
How was everyone's New Years? Congratulations, by the way, on everyone's creative genius in bullrushing Chippewa. Yes, downtown was certainly the "cool" thing to do, as usual. I'm disappointed I couldn't make it there myself. How hellish for me - not to get the chance to pay seven dollar covers to stand in shoulder-to-shoulder dance clubs and listen to nightmarish music being played loud enough to piss off a dead body and spend all my hard earned money on expensive, poorly mixed drinks that I have to wait ten minutes to get. Oh, and there's the sweat, and bad smells, and drunk assholes, and the whores, and the hardasses, and the tough-guy bouncers, and the flashing lights, and long lines, and so on. And of course the best part of all - the oppurtunity to "be seen." I envy all of you.
But seriously ... Happy New Years!!
I would like Gary Bettman to die a painful, agonizing death.
I hate the commercial where the black guy puts on all those clothes so he doesn't have to carry a bag on the plane. What a stupid fucking commercial.
I don't feel good, I'm tired, I'm angry and malovelent ... so this blog is over.
A Presto
Mike
posted by Il Pazzo @ 3:53 PM
1 Comments:
At 10:46 AM,
Anonymous said…
we can blame the kicker, he'll be gone come this off-season; we can blame the defense, they couldn't stop a fourth-string running back or make enough crucial third-down stops; or we can even blame the coaching, for some questionable calls, not running willis enough, or failing to throw the long-ball early; but what this game has shown is the weakness of drew bledsoe. yes, with this team he will be able to win games against sub-par and mediocre teams. if teams cannot get a pass-rush on him, he is able to make very smart decisions, and if the opponents can't stop our running game, drew will be able to hit our receivers with deep bombs. what drew bledsoe will never again do in the nfl is win a meaningful game against a top-caliber team. this team wins in spite of drew bledsoe, not because of him. there are few times this year that even the most die-hard drew fan would be able to say that we won because of drew. when did drew make a magnificent comeback? when did he turn it on when we had no running game, or the defense wasn't quite playing like they normally do? bledsoe had the benefit of playing with a top-tier defense and specials teams, two of the biggest rising offensive threats in the league, and a vastly improved offensive line. as for his career passer rating, it was 76.7 before this season, and 76.6 this season, that ranks him 58th all-time. to put this in perspective doug flutie has a career 76.3 paser rating while playing the majority of his career at an age older than drew is right now. drew will most likely be able to win more games than fruity thug-wannabe j.p. next year, but anyone that thinks we'll go deep into the playoffs is dreaming; brady, manning, pennington, and roethlisberger are going to be just as solid and will be our main rivals for at least the next five years, we might as well start letting j.p. catch up.
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