Drivel - Brilliant Drivel

Congratulations, blog readers!! You have set a new record (I think) with five comments on the last blog. And the best part is ... they were all long, insightful, and well-written comments. I've been walking around with a smile on my face for days now - which is awkward for the people around me, but I just can't help it. I'm so flattered. Keep it up!

I just found out that Pearl Jam apparently put out a Greatest Hits album in November. This has somehow flown under the radar for a while now. At any rate, here is the first draft of a 300 word review I'm sending to Hooligan magazine, in case you're wondering whether the CD is worth it:

Pearl Jam: Rearviewmirror - Greatest Hits 1991-2003
Review by Michael J. Sherry

There’s a lot to be said about this confusing ninety’s band, and none of it can be said in a brief review. So let’s just get right down to brass tax here; buy this album if you like Pearl Jam. Don’t if you don’t.
My own thoughts about the integrity of releasing a Greatest Hits album only twelve years after hitting it big aside – this is a group that can afford to. Should they? The same anti-mainstream insurgents that always manage to show up amidst the happening music scene anyway? Isn’t releasing a Greatest Hits album when one is relatively young and still enjoying widespread esteem suspiciously like cashing in?
But that is the danger of discussing Pearl Jam and I don’t have the space for it. So let’s stay on point; you might find this album worth purchasing, if only because it’s a collection from one of the few contemporary groups that have consistently released a product vaguely resembling tolerable music. And what’s this? They had the wisdom to leave off the silly "Glorified G"? Well that settles it. This is a GOOD album.
Seriously. There’s some damn good music on here – most of it from TEN. Hell, with thirty-three tracks on a single album, there’s bound to be a few good ones, right? Well, let’s see here. There’s the grunge classics "Alive", "Even Flow", and "Jeremy". There's also a sprinkling of some later, lesser-known songs like "Given to Fly", and the dreary "Nothing as it Seems".
And don’t worry. For every goofy "Dissident" or "Daughter", there’s a near-masterpeice like "Black" or "Yellow Ledbetter". Eddie Vedder may be a cheerless, despondent old freak, but he can write a decent rock tune. A truly memorable one, at that. And if you can appreciate that, then this album is a good one for the playlist.



I had to do some tinkering here, because this fucking blog doesn't allow italics for some reason. But that's the jist of the thing. First draft, keep in mind. And NO - I did not listen to the album. Instead I sat at my desk, drank some red wine, glanced over the playlist, and punched this thing out.


A new study found that an astounding 98% of surfers survived the Tsunami.

"While My Guitar Gently Weeps" is a fucking unbelievable song. One of the few greatest ever written, if you ask me.

"Jungle Boogie" is not. But its good.

Here's an interesting website, worth anybody's time who had to read a book for a class:

http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/classics.shtml

The point of this site is that it summarizes books in less than a minute, to spare your actually having to read it. An example, you say? Why certainly ...

THE GREAT GATSBY
Gatsby: Daisy, I made all this money for you, because I love you.
Daisy: I cannot reciprocate, because I represent the American Dream.
Gatsby: Now I must die, because I also represent the American Dream. (Gatsby DIES.)
Nick: I hate New Yorkers.
THE END

Another? Well, okay. Since you asked.

OTHELLO
Iago: Your wife's cheating on you.
Othello: She is? (kills wife) Damn, she wasn't really.
THE END

Seriously, check out the website. It's got a shitload of books on there, some of which you've undoubtedly read, or at least are familiar with. And it's funny shit.

While we're on literary topics: In our neverending quest to convince people that there's actually books out there worth reading (its not all scholarly, read-for-class-only bullshit), we here at Dominion of Cool often suggest books to check out in this blog. This time, we have two.

The Nick Tosches Reader: by Nick Tosches
A Whore Just Like the Rest: by Richard Meltzer

Now, these are both long books. But the good news is that they aren't books. Well, not exactly. Not in the standard way you'd generally think of a book. What they are is collections of thirty years worth of rock jounalism by two of the best in the field (particularly Nick Tosches). I've read the Tosches Reader, and its fucking great. 700 some pages worth of CD reviews, concert reviews, interviews, essays, stories, excerpts, poems, and so on. Goes all the way back to the early 70's. Good reading for anybody who likes rock. And the same with "A Whore Just Like..." - I'm in the middle of reading this one, and its great. Same thing - reviews of CD's and concerts, interviews, and so on. And this one goes all the way back to the late 60's. You get to read these guys writing about groups like the Stones and the Beatles when it was contemporary shit. And the best part is - these guys are fucking hilarious. Take-no-prisoners, scathing, and viscious writing at its best. And don't worry, contemp-music fans. They both work their way up to the present. Anyways, just a suggestion if you're looking for some relevant, non-scholarly reading. These texts will set you straight: or as Nick Tosches puts it - "The author will cure you of your nasty habits. He will cure you but good."

How we go from a 68 degree day, to a day with five or six inches of snow is beyond me. Fuck Buffalo.

As always, my solution to these problems has been DRINK TOO MUCH.

And now, for no particular reason at all, my votes for various animal categories ...

Coolest animal: Lion
Dumbest: Whale-shark
Best pet: Penguin (with a tuxedo and a top hat)
Worst pet: that boxing kangaroo from Looney Tunes
Animal I'd most like to get drunk: Rhinocerous (they charge things)
Most deadly: Koala-Bear (seriously - they'll stab you if you turn your back for a second)
Smartest: Trekkies
Ugliest: Opera Winfrey
Blackest: Tie between the American Black Bear and Bruce Smith
Whitest: Tie between Polar Bear and Good Charlotte


Warren G was good.


Well, leave comments, friends. See if we can beat five this time.


A Presto



Mike