Fireside Chat

Ah, election years. Now the republicans are crying that the forged documents are some vast conspiracy by the democrats. Come on. They were so pissed off when Kerry's camp said the swift boat adds were a result of Bush's campaign, but what do they do? They turn right around and say this maniac (who says he got the documents from some mysterious mexican woman) deserves investigation because it was likely part of a plot by Kerry's people. This is part of why I hate politics.

This is another part - after watching Kerry give speeches the past two days, I am completely convinced it will take a miracle for him to win the election. And why? He's cutting his own throat. He has three problems - 1. He blasts Bush to no end while whining and bitching like a fucking baby if anyone says anything about him, 2. He says he has an entirely different plan than Bush and will "do everything differently"...but never explains it. He just says he's got it. And finally, 3. He makes fantastic, undeliverable promises constantly (rather funny promises by the way).
The first - Take today for instance. A speech that went on for almost an hour did little aside from attack Bush and his "fantasy world" (and I quote). He played, as usual, to the majority of what comprises his backing - namely the anti-Bush crowd, which is not necessarily the pro-Kerry crowd by the way. From the beginning his campaign plan has been simple - attack, attack, attack! And I do not contend that there is anything wrong with that. A hell of a lot of people hate Bush passionately, and a candidate that can make use of that should. I certainly would. The problem is that he dishes, but cries when they give it back to him. Even as I type this, Kerry just used his two favorite words to describe Bush - "lies and deceit." Sooner or later he'll get around to his other favorite..."killer." Yet if he's called a "flip flopper" (which he is, and his own record will dispute any argument against that assertion) he cries. He has a commercial airing across the country now that firstly attacks Bush because we're dying in a misguided war, and then says - "and in the midst of these trying times the President chooses to release a juvenile and tasteless attack add against John Kerry." Boo fuckin hoo.
The second - Self-explanatory. Listen to any of his speeches. They all go something like this. "The President has made misguided, incorrect decisions on every matter. As President I will not do one thing differently, I will do everything differently." But that's it. No explanation.
Finally, the third - This is my favorite one. The wild "Kerry-guarentees" that sound so good - how could you not vote for him? Just two quick examples. He promises, as president, to "end bigotry" and "make America independent of Mid-East oil." Really? No shit. Those would be some very good changes - changes that would quickly and sweepingly rid the country of problematic issues that thousands of politicians throughout history have been unable to remedy. But as he says, "I know what needs to be done, and I have a plan to do it."

Enough politics. I discuss it only from a very amused perspective, though unfortunately far too many people will read it and get angry and offended. It disheartens me that this country can be so fuckin touchy and sensitive about its political beliefs. People on both sides are fuckin idiots - who gives a shit what you believe? Have a sense of humor about it. Here's a fuckin news flash...you don't know shit, I don't know shit, nobody knows shit. We get all opinionated and passionate about things, and why? Its ridiculous.

Funny story - I had the swell misfortune of waking up at five-thirty in the morning today. I'd only been sleeping for maybe four hours, it was pitch-black outside, and of course it was freezing. But I was up cause I had to be in East Aurora to work by 7. So I peel myself off the couch (which is where I sleep these days) and head upstairs to my bedroom to get dressed. Then I head to the bathroom and start shaving. Halfway through shaving it hits me - I don't work until 3! The 7am shift is tomorrow! I'm fuckin brilliant!! So I casually finished shaving, got back into my Adidas shorts and old navy shirt, and headed back to the couch for several more hours of sleep. My conclusions? - Yes, I'm a complete idiot, and yes I was angry about getting up in the dark and cold, but there was a bright side. This should happen more often. It was nothing short of bliss when I climbed back under the covers and realized I could sleep as late as I wanted.

Speaking of the new job, however - I just found out that not only did the Eternal Mumbach get this job for me...he will also be training me. There is something very surreal about this whole adventure. First, I'm getting paid ten bucks an hour to work an easy job. Second, my work load includes walking around a plant once an hour and then sitting in an office doing whatever the hell I want the rest of the time. And third, my training (at least for today and tomorrow) will be done by none other than the Eternal himself. Let me put it more bluntly - I will be getting paid ten bucks an hour to walk around and hang out in an office with Mumbach. What a great job.

Some things I've learned since beginning classes at UB:
1. Graduate students are a collection of all the geeks, poindexters, and loud-mouths that there were one or two of in each class at the undergrad level. Now its a class full of them!
2. There is so much pompous, pointless shit that "intellectuals" pretend to be interested in.
3. I really hate the way asian people speak the english language. Uggh. Its grating. Sends shivers down my spine.
4. Parking at SBU was only a very mild problem ... though of course security was far more happy to give tickets at SBU than at UB (knock on wood)

Bills' coach Mike Mularkey apparently sees a silver lining from the first two losses. Really? What is it? That we only lost by three? That our offense has moved up from ranked 30th (last season) to 29th (so far this season)? Those are great positives. But hey. I'm sure we'll beat the living shit out of New England when we play them next Sunday, right?

People I'm putting out contract hits on:
1. Travis Henry
2. Justin Timberlake (but Mike, he's so fuckin cool!) Well, he's also gonna be dead soon, so forget him.
3. Drew Carey
4. The people who produce and direct McDonalds commercials
5. Julia Roberts (she's too ugly and annoying, I just can't take her anymore)

Why Star Wars is better than Lord of the Rings:
1. Obi Wan would beat the shit out of Gandolf
2. Luke would beat the shit out of Froto
3. Who does Luke keep as company on his journeys? Han Solo, Chewbacca, and crazy Leia. What company does Froto keep? Fat Samwise Gamgee and a maniacal creature that talks to himself.
4. The bad guys? Darth Vader and the Emperor vs. A White Wizard and a giant eye. Not even close.
5. Storm troopers with blasters vs. orcs.
6. Light sabres vs. Gandolf's staff. Give me a break.
7. Death Stars, Star Destroyers, Hyperdrive, Cloud City, Laser Guns, Jabba the Hutt, Yoda, Millenium Falcon, the Force, and Ee-woks... vs. ... hobbits, dwarves, elves, orcs, swords, Viggo Mortenson, jewelry, Orlando Bloom, wizards, talking trees, etc.

Okay? Are we agreed? Not even a competition.

Enough. I've wasted my own time again. I'd apologize for wasting your time, only nobody reads so I've got nobody to apologize to. But, in the unlikely event that somebody did read this - LEAVE A FUCKING MESSAGE.

A Presto



Il Pazzo