Bacon and Eggs
Okay, first the republicans:
Bush gave his first speech since the beginning of the DNC today, and he was just as charming and articulate as usual (sarcasm). I kid you not...he actually stumbled over the word "had." As he hit the middle of his sentence, a blank expression came over his face and he stood at the podium in silence for several seconds before continuing, and sure enough, the next word out of his mouth was "had." Christ.
This is of course until he began speaking about the war on terror, and then his words came quickly and fluently. What are the implications of this? I won't speculate.
On the positive side of republican politics - Rudy Guliani had this to say on Michael Moore. "I don't need to be told about 911 by someone like Michael Moore, I lived it." (Paraphrase, I don't remember the exact wording).
Now the democrats:
A surprisingly lively speech by Kerry. He seemed almost - how should I say? - alive. And wow does he seem like a rocket scientist compared to his opponent. His words are fluent, moving, and articulate.
However...
The official statistic released following his speech indicates that he spent an entire two minutes discussing his 20 year Senatorial career. (By the way, his speech was fifty minutes long...hmm)
He pledged to "end bigotry" and make it so that "every American has a job." Pretty words, but if you were hoping to hear how he plans on doing these things, keep waiting.
He lamented the fact that some poor chump from Ohio (and I'm sure its a coincidence he picked that state) lost his job and his equipment was "packed up and sent thousands of miles away." Sucks? Fuck yah. But wait a minute - didn't Kerry vote for Nafta?
After four scathing personal attacks on the top four officials in the Bush administration (and I mean personal attacks, not a simple disagreement of issues) he made a direct plea to Mr. Bush that the election be kept clean and respectful. My question is this - how can a party that calls a man a liar and a killer (personal attacks) ask that Bush lay off the insults (for the record, when Bush says Kerry is a flip flopper, he's referring to his political history and this type of rhetoric is the nature of political elections. Calling someone a killer or a liar is something else altogether.)
And finally - it was a nice parade of Kerry's former Vietnam buddies who are supporting him, yet the case remains that most of them oppose him.
On the positive side of Democratic politics - Whatever the case may be - no matter what Kerry says, or even despite the fact that he took Botox/Manicure superfem for his running mate - he is an intelligent man, a brave man, and a good politician, and the country will be just fine if he wins.
Now...fuck politics.
Especially considering I was drinking my face off while most of the above was taking place. Am I awesome because I can get shitfaced and analyze politics at the same time? No. I'm an idiot.
People I'd like to either kill or hate-fuck...
Janeane Girafilo
Tom Brady (just kill though)
Julia Roberts
Christina Aguilera
Cokie Roberts (is she still alive anyway? Ah well, I hate her)
Rumors from the DNC - Ben Affleck and Kerry's daughter were "all over each other." Some bitch on Fox News asks - isn't she the one studying to be a doctor? The guy whose spreading the rumor responds..."Well, maybe she was administering an exam." Hey. What's funny is funny, am I right?
Today is day two of the three day bender before my job starts at Keybank. Possible trip to "free hour ala Hansley" at Mickey Rats, but probably not. Probably will just go shopping for several bottles at that huge grocery store sized liquor store over by Regal Cinema, and then sit in my basement and get completely off the rug, as it were. Tomorrow is the hootin-nanny at the Barnashuk farm. The question on everybody's minds - will Mumbach and Bob really get lucky? Well, I'm rooting for them. Here, I'll even suggest a pickup line...hmm, how about..."Can I eat your pussy?"
Did you know in a recent interview that Tom Brady - wearing his usual winter cap - said the following to a reporter who asked a question he didn't like:
"I bet you're the type of asshole who wouldn't even bother giving a guy a reach around while you're fuckin him."
I'm sorry, friends. I've completely rambled and wasted your time yet again. This compounded by the fact that probably nobody will read this, and all I've really done is waste my own time. But such is life, and such is my life, and I will continue to type this shit because...well...because it entertains me. So, until next Blog...later chums.
And in the eerie, beyond-the-grave words of long face Kerry..."I looooove New Hampshire!"
Bush gave his first speech since the beginning of the DNC today, and he was just as charming and articulate as usual (sarcasm). I kid you not...he actually stumbled over the word "had." As he hit the middle of his sentence, a blank expression came over his face and he stood at the podium in silence for several seconds before continuing, and sure enough, the next word out of his mouth was "had." Christ.
This is of course until he began speaking about the war on terror, and then his words came quickly and fluently. What are the implications of this? I won't speculate.
On the positive side of republican politics - Rudy Guliani had this to say on Michael Moore. "I don't need to be told about 911 by someone like Michael Moore, I lived it." (Paraphrase, I don't remember the exact wording).
Now the democrats:
A surprisingly lively speech by Kerry. He seemed almost - how should I say? - alive. And wow does he seem like a rocket scientist compared to his opponent. His words are fluent, moving, and articulate.
However...
The official statistic released following his speech indicates that he spent an entire two minutes discussing his 20 year Senatorial career. (By the way, his speech was fifty minutes long...hmm)
He pledged to "end bigotry" and make it so that "every American has a job." Pretty words, but if you were hoping to hear how he plans on doing these things, keep waiting.
He lamented the fact that some poor chump from Ohio (and I'm sure its a coincidence he picked that state) lost his job and his equipment was "packed up and sent thousands of miles away." Sucks? Fuck yah. But wait a minute - didn't Kerry vote for Nafta?
After four scathing personal attacks on the top four officials in the Bush administration (and I mean personal attacks, not a simple disagreement of issues) he made a direct plea to Mr. Bush that the election be kept clean and respectful. My question is this - how can a party that calls a man a liar and a killer (personal attacks) ask that Bush lay off the insults (for the record, when Bush says Kerry is a flip flopper, he's referring to his political history and this type of rhetoric is the nature of political elections. Calling someone a killer or a liar is something else altogether.)
And finally - it was a nice parade of Kerry's former Vietnam buddies who are supporting him, yet the case remains that most of them oppose him.
On the positive side of Democratic politics - Whatever the case may be - no matter what Kerry says, or even despite the fact that he took Botox/Manicure superfem for his running mate - he is an intelligent man, a brave man, and a good politician, and the country will be just fine if he wins.
Now...fuck politics.
Especially considering I was drinking my face off while most of the above was taking place. Am I awesome because I can get shitfaced and analyze politics at the same time? No. I'm an idiot.
People I'd like to either kill or hate-fuck...
Janeane Girafilo
Tom Brady (just kill though)
Julia Roberts
Christina Aguilera
Cokie Roberts (is she still alive anyway? Ah well, I hate her)
Rumors from the DNC - Ben Affleck and Kerry's daughter were "all over each other." Some bitch on Fox News asks - isn't she the one studying to be a doctor? The guy whose spreading the rumor responds..."Well, maybe she was administering an exam." Hey. What's funny is funny, am I right?
Today is day two of the three day bender before my job starts at Keybank. Possible trip to "free hour ala Hansley" at Mickey Rats, but probably not. Probably will just go shopping for several bottles at that huge grocery store sized liquor store over by Regal Cinema, and then sit in my basement and get completely off the rug, as it were. Tomorrow is the hootin-nanny at the Barnashuk farm. The question on everybody's minds - will Mumbach and Bob really get lucky? Well, I'm rooting for them. Here, I'll even suggest a pickup line...hmm, how about..."Can I eat your pussy?"
Did you know in a recent interview that Tom Brady - wearing his usual winter cap - said the following to a reporter who asked a question he didn't like:
"I bet you're the type of asshole who wouldn't even bother giving a guy a reach around while you're fuckin him."
I'm sorry, friends. I've completely rambled and wasted your time yet again. This compounded by the fact that probably nobody will read this, and all I've really done is waste my own time. But such is life, and such is my life, and I will continue to type this shit because...well...because it entertains me. So, until next Blog...later chums.
And in the eerie, beyond-the-grave words of long face Kerry..."I looooove New Hampshire!"
posted by Il Pazzo @ 12:55 PM
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